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Are you a good friend?

Before we get into Part Two of  our blog this week by Anthony Tjan, I want to ask you a question.  Do you consider yourself a good friend?  Good friends are not only trustworthy, but also honest . A good friend should challenge you in your strengths and weaknesses.  Yes, you need friends in your intimate circle that can be your cheerleader as well as your “under-construction” team builder.   Believe me, I have friends who will tell me what I need to hear, even if I don’t want to hear it.  I believe if someone cares about you, they care ALL about you!  A true friend will see you through in season and out of season.  Enjoy the blog this week , and make sure to be a good friend to others. 

Take psychometric tests. In Heart, Smarts, Guts and Luck, my co-authors and I developed a simple “entrepreneurial aptitude test” in order to understand which traits readers were most likely to be biased in business-building and in life. Among the best known of these tests are Myers-Briggs and Predictive Index, but all are aimed as serving as a data point towards greater self-awareness. A common design point with all of them is that there are no particular right or wrong answers. Instead, they are designed to compel respondents to consider a set of traits or characteristics that most accurately describe them relative to other people. In our own version, (which can be taken at, and is free) we ask people to consider forced choices in paired question sets – e.g. Is your success best described by analytics or instincts? Are you more driven by passion or by action? Reflecting on forced trade-off questions such as these help test-takers better understand their own true characters.

Ask trusted friends. None of us is altogether aware of how we come across to others. We have to rely on the feedback of our peers, friends, and mentors. To have your friends play the role of honest mirror, let them know when you are seeking candid, critical, objective perspectives. Make your friend or colleague feel safe to give you an informal, but direct and honest view. This can mean saying something like, “Look, I am actually asking you as a friend, please just be straight with me on this matter. Okay?“

Another strategy is to ask friends to call you out when you are doing a behavior you already know you want to change. For instance, “Look, I know I am a ‘story-topper’ who needs to one-up every conversation, but do me a favor and each time I do that, let me know – preferably discreetly – so I can learn to stop.”

Stay Tuned for Part Three Next Week……

Live Life On The Promise Of Impact! Carenda Deonne – Your #1 Change Agent


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